Am I being selfish?

A question I have been thinking about for a minute: Am I being selfish? I feel like I usually always think of other people’s feelings before I do or say something. Lately with the way I’m feeling now I’ve been thinking about myself first. And I feel like I need to in order to be able to even think about other people. They way I say this sounds so selfish already… I’m going to elaborate a bit more on this.

So I’ve promised my friend a few weeks ago that I would help her with something. I said yes to this because I really wanted to help and I knew she would really appreciate it. But the way I’ve been feeling lately made me so exhausted that I feel that I can’t even function properly. That is why I decided to cancel the plans I made with my friend, which made her really feel disappointed with me. I completely understand because she really counted on me, which makes me feel like the worst person in the world. But I feel like I have to think about myself first so I can help her…

I don’t want to be selfish but I also don’t want to forget about how I feel. But the real problem is how my decision in thinking about my own feelings first has an effect on me. I think way more about what others might think of me, which I never really cared about. And also, i feel like I ler people who are close to me down. I don’t want anyone’s help or attention when I really don’t need it, even though they do it because they care about me. I feel like I hurt other people’s feelings by trying to fix mine.

Wow I really didn’t mean to get so deep but this is just how I feel and I wanted to get it out. Do you think I’m being selfish?

XO

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